It's often difficult to understand how much of your identity is dictated by where you come from. Even someone like me, who isn't particularly nationalistic or ethnocentric, didn't realize how much of who I was came from being raised in the United States, even down to the cadence of my speech and the way I move.
In the end, I suppose I have changed little from the person that I was when I began my stay in France. Many of my views and outlooks are still the same. I'm still a secularist, I still think that cultural differences are less significant in understanding someone than motivation, and I still believe national origin should be a source of neither shame nor pride.
Then again, I wonder if this would be any different had I gone even farther away from my natal context. Would I be more changed if I had gone to Iran, or Japan, or Russia? I don't know, but even though there are some big differences between France and the United States, many of their core, underlying values are the same.
My biggest regret is not taking the time to try and get to know more French people, real French people from everyday life whose identities flowed naturally from the place they lived in. I followed politics and listened to lectures from academics, but I wonder if the picture that I drew of France and its citizens would be different had I been exposed to the people more often.
This is my only regret though. Even towards the end of my journey, the only time when I truly missed the United States and the connections I have here, there was the creeping fear in the back of my mind that I would never be able to return to Europe. This fear isn't misplaced. I will be completely on my own soon, with loans to back back and responsibilities to attend to, and the idea that I will be able to rustle up a few thousand dollars to cross the ocean again and stay for an extended period is seeming more and more unlikely.
Though I am mostly unchanged, I now know that I want travel to be a regular part of my life. I like being in strange places where I know nothing and no one, and I like to challenge myself in adapting to new expectations and perspectives.
Despite all of the links I have to my surroundings, their influence only goes so far. In the end I can only speak for myself. The university tried to feed us nonsense about representing Ohio State when we were abroad, but I found, with the exception of one or two incidents, that most people thought of me as Nathan first, and an American student second. I've always tried, both before and during my travels, to approach each person as an individual and to take as much time as possible to listen to them and try to understand them before I made a judgement. My voyage has helped to further dispel the illusion of homogeneity from my mind.
I hope that no one reading this or other posts in this log takes my musings, predictions, and observations at face value. Everything I say is filtered through my own experience and bias. I encourage everyone who reads this to travel, or if not travel then try to put yourself in new contexts with new people. Find out for yourself what the world is like. Even now, when everything seems so packed and hurried, there's still lots to see and learn.
Go outside and play.
-Nathan Granger
February 12th, 2012
West Chester, Ohio
United States of America
